{ I went to high school with his mother, a dually amazing person.(funny how life makes those circles)This little boy is the first child I have cared for since Nevaeh passed away. I cared for her for 4 years. i loved that little girl so very much. after her passing I wasn't sure if I should be a nurse. of course I could be but I wasn't cold enough to handle these things. I don't how to be a care giver and not care. So I dabbled in other things for about 2 years. Orally surgery, Podiatry, Nursing Homes....none were for me. So I became single had to move and thought everything was lined up. Had my apartment and job. I was ready to go! Then my car decides to become unsafe so I couldn't drive to the new job. It got very bad quick. My neighbor, another amazing woman, gave me a number to call. A friend of hers looking for a nurse....BAM....it was my friend from school. Blessed! }
.....there was a knock on the door. The family's neighbor was there. She said there was an accident. Someone crashed into her barn. I reassured the kids that id be back, grabbed my latex gloves and coat and took off out the house with her. She remembers me asking if there was a gas smell and just going like nothing. I climbed down the bank through the snow to the truck which was flipped on its side and facing the wrong direction. There was a man in a brown coat standing near the barn who gave me a flashlight....i realized later he vanished. Neither I nor the neighbor knows where he went or who he was. Just vanished. I still carry the light he gave me. Besides the sound of the radio blasting it was actually very still. I got down to the truck ground level where I saw a red and white fubu sneaker on a lifeless leg surrounded by metal. I couldn't hear anything because of the stereo still playing. I don't know what was on but it was loud. I reached through the wind shield and around the steering wheel to turn of the ignition and pull keys out. Suprisingly it turned easy. Thats when I heard him.
I was praying there wasnt a child in the car too. I couldnt hear the signs of one which was somewhat reassurring. I taked to him. i told him I was there. Asked if he knew his name, but he could only respond with quiet groans. It was enough tho. All of a sudden he started to snore. " buddy stay with me...don't go to sleep. Listen to my voice."...in my head i was saying " God I need to find more than his leg". I got up and ran to the back of the truck. "Thank god, I can see him" I thought. This poor kid was hanging upside down, in a t-shirt with his bleeding head in the snow. I wanted to flip the truck back over. I shined the light on him, couldnt see his face, but was hoping he could see it and that it would give him hope. I told him again to stay awake. "I know you are scared. I know you are cold and in pain...just breathe and stay with me" I told him. "help is coming".... "do you hear them?"..."it is going to get loud, don't be scared it means you are getting help". He would groan in acknowledgement. As the sirens got louder he tried to move his right arm as if in a panic. i had to keep telling him its ok...just breathe..don't move. It's going to get loud. its okay. They are going to help you now".He listened. He stayed still. This poor guy. Regardless of how it happened or why I am grateful I was there. I can not imagine this young man being there in the dark and cold in pain and ALONE. I don't think I did much or what any human should do.
The rescue process continued for a while. I helped comfort the girlfriend and the father of the young man with the trooper on scene while the fire department used the jaws of life to free him. He came out and was transported with helicopter to Albany Med. I had a second of becoming emotional but I went back to the kids and finished the night time routine.(FYI they were not unsupervised this whole time. The neighbor checked in on them as well) It didnt completely hit what I just saw until the next day.
I was very worried about this kid I never met before. i found his girlfriend on facebook and she has kindly been keeping me posted on his condition. he is a 23 year old man, has 3 little boys and is now in a coma with sever head trauma, 5 broken ribs, broken clavicle and lots of swelling, cuts and bruises. I feel bad. I feel sad. I dont know him but I now worry about him. I ask my friends for prayers for him and his family. My friends graciousy do it and show real concern and care.
So its been almost 48 hours since this accident which may have changed me for good. i am very emotional about alot of things right now. I am questioning my choices in life. Am I too picky, to hard on people?? Am I going to die alone if i don't compromise my needs...if I don't settle??? My kids ask me for things I don't have and it angered me. How could you ask for things I cant give when people are fighting for their lives all over the world??...I say in my head. They are kids...not bad kids. I am just a big ball of emotions today.
I do not want thanks for helping him, just want him to wake up and let his kids have their daddy for Christmas. So I sit here sad, confused and a bit lonely but I SIT HERE ALIVE AND HEALTHY. What I will feel tomorrow or in in a hour I don know. But I am here and maybe this event was one of my purposes. Only GOD knows. ~<3~
